Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions.
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Bungle's Barely News.
Lee from Kingston asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that lightening never strikes in the same place twice?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Lee, I have it on good authority that lightening never strikes in the same place twice. To put this theory to the test I shall be spending the weekend in a tree that was previously struck in 1984. The weather centre have predicted storms, but I am confident that I will be as safe as houses…
Munky! I just received a call from the local police. Apparently your house has blown over!?
A singed Unkle Munky says - Oh fer fuck’s sake!
Munky’s consumer correspondent…
Munky, Your complimentary bananas have just arrived from Fyffes.
Unkle Munky says - Ahem. Thank you, Mary. Yes, Fyffes really are the market leaders when it comes to supplying bananas.
Man on a Hill.
Zoe from Crewe asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my letter regarding stain removal? I am at my wits end and no mistake.
Unkle Munky says - Dear Zoe, I did indeed receive said correspondence. It would appear, according to my Geri Halliwell book of ancient artifacts, that you have inadvertently purchased a souvenir Turin Shroud tea towel. No amount of boil washing is going to get that bugger white.
Zoe replies - Oh I see. Yes, I was in Turin last Wednesday. Thanks Munky.
Unkle Munky says - That's right, Mary.
Ben from Brighton poses a question for Unkle Munky’s Homework Corner:
A wristwatch that’s been gaining ten minutes an hour since noon is now reading six o clock PM. With this in mind, what is the true current time?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Ben, I would suggest, in this instance, that it is time to get a new watch.
Ben replies - What the fu*k?
WORLD NEWS…. WORLD NEWS…. WORLD NEWS….
Israeli MP, Shlomo Benizri, has blamed the recent earthquakes in his country on gays. Asked if sturdier beds might allieviate the problem, Mr. Benizri replied, “Oh fer fuck’s sake Bungle! The problem is one of religous interpretation, not the mechanics of sodomy!” To be quite frank, Unkle Munky, I fail to see the connection. My mate Dave is gay, and as far as I can ascertain there has never been an earthquake in Peckham.
Unkle Munky says - I agree Bungle. Perhaps we should steer clear of World news. Come back home. I have a story about a cat who’s stuck up a tree for you to cover.
Unkle Munky says - No Mary, a cat.
The Final Word.
This week’s final word goes to Jason Orange (left of picture) from Take That fame.
“Leading an ordinary life is not beyond the grasp of your average pop star. Both my good self and Gary Barlow (right of picture) often go shopping in disguise together for Clearasil skin cleansing products.”
Unkle Munky says - Wow. That’s amazing. It’s good to see that your acne has cleared up too. Thanks Jason.