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Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions.

Snowmunkysm

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This week Munky still believes that the end is nigh…


Middleton


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Housefire


Unkle Munky says - Ahem. So how is your Gran, Mary?


Mary says1


Homeless, shaken and terribly singed! How do you think she fuckin’ is!?


Unkle Munky says - Well, if there’s anything I can do…?


Mary replies - I think you’ve done more than enough, you useless good for nothing banana muching cretin!



Further Advent Calendar Complaints...

Memo from mms


Ref. Yet more advent calendar complaints.


Dear Unkle Munky, Yet again I have been inundated with complaints about your vastlly overpriced 2007 advent calendar. It is with some trepidation that I must now enquire as to why you deemed it nessasary to include a picture of the late Rod Hull behind door number sixteen?


Unkle Munky says - Dear Ms. Motion Sickness, I am constantly amazed by the ignorance shown by not only yourself, but also by a small cross section of the British buying public. Surely everyone knows that the little baby Jesus was the son of Rod!?


Son of rod



The Banal Brothers…

Banal brothers splinters1


Unkle Munky asks - Have we managed to secure a better sponsor for this ‘feature’ yet, Ms. Motion Sickness?


Mary says1


Not yet Munky. Durex were interested at one point, but they pulled out at the last minute.


Unkle Munky says - That’s not like Durex?



Celebrity Yuletide Greetings.

Nicolekid


Unkle Munky says - Wow. Thanks Nicole. Happy Xmas to you too!


Ms. Motion Sickness adds - Oh fer fuck's sake...



Bungle's Barely News.

This week: Bungle the bear barely gets to grips with ‘The alleged Britney Spears Drug testing’ news story…


Bear brit2


Unkle Munky says - Take no notice Bungle. She’s trouble that one.




Guinnessaday


Terry from Ipswich asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that a Guinness a day is good for you?


Unkle Munky says - I love you Terry.


Mary says1


Sometimes, Unkle Munky, you research these queries far too thoroughly. Might I suggest that you finish early today?


Unkle Munky slurs - I think… I think you’re wonderful, Mary. I really, really do.



Rogue Minogue.

Rogue minogue fem coma


Unkle Munky says - Thanks Kylie. That’s great advice.




Munky’s Advent Calendar…


3wisehens


Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky’s assistant) Says - Go on then Munky, what’s that got to do with Xmas?


Unkle Munky says - Well it’s obviously the three wise hens isn’t it!? Are you being intentionally thick or what Mary?



Maroon Cock.

Debbie from Suffolk asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that Adam Levine of ‘Maroon 5′ fame was born in the year of the Cock?


Unkle Munky says - Dear Debbie, I have consulted my Phil Collins book of cocks and can confirm that said toss pot was indeed born under the sign of which you speak.


Adam levine1



A Complaint.

Complaint dept


John from Hull asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I must raise issue with the ‘advice’ given by your consumer correspondent, Ms. Rogue Minogue. Thanks to that useless air-head I am now in the undesirable position of having to cope with three excitable children over the yuletide season. My wife’s coma has been verified by professional personnel as being of a fraudulent nature. I can only assume that you will be issuing said employee with a written warning!


Unkle Munky says - Dear John, I apologise sincerely for any upset that Ms. Minogue’s advice may have caused. I will be issuing said Rogue with a formal warning just as soon as she wakes from her Xmas induced coma. And now, if you do not mind, I have a turkey to pluck. Good day!




Munky’s Advent Calendar…


Nikkershaw


Mary says1


I know I’m going to regret this… but what the fuck has 80’s pop sensation, Nick Kershaw, got to do with Xmas?


Unkle Munky says - Well isn’t it obvious? He later went on to become Saint Nick, the patron saint of presents.


Ms. Motion Sickness adds - I give up.



The Final Word.

Today’s final word goes to Breakfast TV’s very own Ms. Lorraine Kelly…


Lorrainekelly




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