Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions.
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This week Munky is staring at the rude bois...
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Alan from St. Ives asks - Dear Unkle Munky, My early morning newspaper is seldom posted all the way through the letterbox. As a result, on rainy days, I often end up with a soggy mess. What can I do?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Alan, This conundrum requires a little thought on my part. I shall endeavour to get back to you shortly.
I find it hard to believe that you are struggling to answer the previous query, Unkle Munky. After all, dealing with a soggy end is surely your forte?
Unkle Munky says - Ahem. Disgraceful behaviour!
Yesterday's News with Bungle Bear.
Unkle Munky says - What about Snickers bars? I like Snickers Bars.
Bungle replies - It includes everything Munky! Haven’t you been listening? You useless hairy fuckin’ primate!
Unkle Munky adds - Ahem. Thanks Bungle.
And in more news...
Unkle Munky single handedly cures bird flu!
…so will I still be able to purchase Bounty Bars, Unkle Munky? I like Bounty Bars.
Unkle Munky says - No! It includes everything Mary! Haven’t you been listening? You useless anaemic fuckin’ Goth!
Mascot or No Mascot?
Adam from Liverpool asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my letter marked with grass stains? I am due to appear on the game show ‘Deal or No Deal’ next week and would appreciate an answer to my query as soon as possible.
Unkle Munky says - Dear Adam, I did indeed receive the aforementioned letter. I have contacted the show’s production team with regards to your mascot query and am able to reliably inform you that your lucky garden shed, though too cumbersome to be allowed into the main studio, will be permitted onto the car park.
The Banal Brothers.
This week the Banal Brothers talk about smears...
Unkle Munky - ZZZzzzzz
Hugh from Perthshire asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that loose lips could cost lives during the war?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Hugh, I have consulted my ‘Rolf Harris Paints… War’ compendium and can confirm that loose lips did indeed cost lives during both world war one and two. To be quite frank, it makes me wonder why the government spent so much time and money on deploying a weapons arsenal.
A short paws whilst Munky scores twenty seven Snickers bars from a dodgy confectionary dealer named Leroy…
Munky News with Bungle Bear.
Unkle Munky says - Take no notice Bungle. He’s obviously jealous of your optical advantage.
The Final Word.
This week’s final word goes to Children in Need’s Pudsey Bear…
Bungle Bear enquires - Ahem. Did you really have give that Pudsey twat the final word Unkle Munky?
Unkle Munky says - I’m afraid so Bungle. My hands are tied when it comes to charitable events of this magnitude.