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Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions.

New munky



This week Munky is so human...


Ladysovhuman


Artist - Lady Sovereign.

Song - So Human.


  • Click here to play...
  • Videos prone to removal.

On This Day in History

It was on this day in 1984 that the leader of the National Union of Mineworkers, Arthur Scargill, lost his comb.


Scargillcomb


"Has anyone seen my comb?"



Surprise!

Sally from Ballykinler asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I have recently discovered that a surprise birthday party is to be held in my honour. My acting skills are very limited and I am worried that a fake look of surprise might raise suspicions. What can I do?


Unkle Munky says - Dear Sally, The human face expresses surprise via eyebrow elevation. I would suggest on this occasion, however, that you simply feign a look of authentic astonishment by applying cosmetics to the freshly plucked area of said brows.


Maximumfact1


  • Pictured prior to the party - Sally having her eyebrows doctored by close friend, Max Factor.



UK Munky Gold Plus One

17:00 Tony Blackburn’s Celebrity Challenge

Gray day

This week Tony challenges David Gray to sing without nodding his head.


18:00 Phil Collins ‘No Talent Required’ (Documentary)

Phil Collins talks to Unkle Munky about his ability to brainwash people into thinking he’s talented.


19:00 Tears for Spears

This week Britney attempts to overcome her innate fear of singing live.


20:00 Devon Knows I’m Miserable Now.

Devonchav

Devonshire socialite, Sharon Jenkins, takes us out on the piss with her chavvy mates.


21:00 The Lazy Detective

Lazydetective

This week The Lazy Detective falls asleep whilst studying the work of Ms. Marple.


22:00 Sign Off



To Boldly Vend...

Warren from Stevenage asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my email regarding Nasa? I suspect my mate is pulling my plonker again and no mistake!


Unkle Munky says - Dear Warren, I have contacted the relative authorities and am able to confirm that your friend is correct. Nasa Space Shuttle simulators were indeed originally designed to help astronauts make proper use of onboard vending facilities.


Coffesimulator1



No Comic Relief for Munky

Memo from mms2


Munky, I admire your commitment to Comic Relief but am a little concerned that your continuous wearing of the iconic red nose might lessen the impact of all subsequent fund raising events.


Unkle Munky says - Ahem. I am not wearing a red nose! If you must know, I've had an allergic fuckin' reaction to that plastic monstrosity that you made me wear on Friday! And now, if you don't mind, I have creams to apply. Good day!


Rednose munky



Showing Off

Sharon from Lea on Sea asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I am a big fan of showing off and was wondering if you had any ideas as to how I might indulge my passion?


Unkle Munky says - Dear Sharon, Why not stand somewhere that is clearly out of bounds?


Sahz the show off


Sharon replies - Wow. Thanks Munky! This is just the ticket!



Bungle's Barely News

Bbn3twomillion



Will Young Query

Louise from Kent asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I've found a picture of Will Young in my boyfriend's wallet. Should I be worried?


Willy young


Unkle Munky says - Dear Louise, You've every right to be concerned. I would recommend that you print the attached snap (see below). It's moodier, better lit and generally far more stylish than the picture that's currently in your boyfriend's possession.


Louise replies - Oh fer god's sake! I'm not concerned about the general composition of the snap, you idiot! I'm worried that he might be gay!


Unkle Munky adds - Uh? Everyone knows that Will is gay? What's the problem?


Will polaroid


Louise sighs - I give up...



Munky's HeadLies

Synchteam1



So Near So Spa

Jason from East Lothian asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Would it be okay to use my mum's Foot Spa as a Jacuzzi for my goldfish?


Unkle Munky says - Wow! What an intriguing question. One second please...


Mary face sm

Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Munky! Where are you going with my heated Foot Spa!?


Unkle Munky returns - Shut up Mary. Dear Jason, Using a Foot Spa as a goldfish Jacuzzi is perhaps not such a great idea... Especially if said foot spa is of the heated persuasion.


Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Oh fer fuck's sake!


Deadgf


Please Note: No fishes, be they gold or otherwise, were harmed during this week's Unkle Munky. Thank You



Munky's Twitterings.

Twitter cloned


Munky is now available on Twitter>>>




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