Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions.
This week Munky is high...
Artist - Royksopp.
Song - Happy up Here.
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Munky, why are you wearing a paper shredder around your neck?
Unkle Munky replies - That's none of your business, Ms. Sickness. Please get on with your pretend duties!
Ms. Motion Sickness asks - You got your tie caught in it again didn't you?
Unkle Munky says - Ahem. Might have...
Craig from Merseyside asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Will you be making any sacrifices for Lent?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Craig, I have decided to sacrifice tomatoes for the period known as Lent.
Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - But you're not keen on tomatoes anyway, Munky?
Unkle Munky says - Exactly! It'll be easy.
I Bet Michael Caine Doesn't Know That!
This week, Unkle Munky is betting that Michael Caine has absolutely no idea about the following fact;
The average Man can expect to ejaculate approximately two buckets of semen in his lifetime.
Michael Caine answers - Hello?
Unkle Munky says - Hello. Is that Michael Caine?
Michael Caine - Yes, yes it is...
Unkle Munky says - Hello, Michael. Tell me, how much semen can the average man expect to ejaculate in his lifetime?
Michael Caine replies - Who is this!?
Unkle Munky says - Phooaarrrr. Don't mind if I do.
Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - But you can't Munky. You've given them up for Lent!
Unkle Munky replies - Shut it, Mary!
Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - U2 must be shittin' themselves...
Unkle Munky says - Just be quiet and get on with your pretend typing, Mary! Disgraceful Behaviour!
Turds in Space
Warren from Stevenage asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that early space shuttle test flights were flown by flies? I suspect my mate is pulling my plonker again and no mistake!
Unkle Munky says - Dear Warren, I have consulted the relative authorities and can confirm that early space shuttle test flights were indeed manned by flies. You really must have more faith in your friend's counsel!
The Big Book of Unreasonable Demands
Margaret from Nottingham asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I can't see the woods for the gasworks! Can I make a claim?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Margaret, 'The Big Book of Unreasonable Demands' states that a claim can only be made if said woods are concealed by trees. I hope this helps.
UK Munky Gold Plus One
This week's Episode: Feng Shui Surprise.
Bodie is troubled by Doyle’s tendency to rearrange the furniture at crime scenes.
It'll all Cum Out in the Wash
Rob from Layton asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I've just caught my girlfriend's mother shagging the washing machine repair man! What shall I do?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Rob, Simply take your laundry to the local laundrette. Some establishments even offer ironing services.
Rob replies - What the fuc...?
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