Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions.
This week Munky is watching Japanese Cartoons...
Artist - Japanese Cartoon.
Song - Heirplanes.
- Click here to play...
- Videos prone to removal.
Fools Rushdie in...
Carl from Leeds asks - Dear Unkle Munky, My best friend is the spitting image of Salman Rushdie. I am worried for his safety and was wondering if you had any advice?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Carl, There is no reason at all to believe that your friend's ugliness should in any way jeopardise his safety.
Carl replies - Oh for god's sake!
Munky is now available on Twitter>>>
Aled from Essex asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Can chickens fly?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Aled, What an intriguing question. Just one second, I'll go and find out...
Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Munky! Where are you going with that catapult?
Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Oh fer fuck's sake!
Unkle Munky returns to his desk - Dear Aled, I can confirm that chickens are indeed able fly.
UK Munky Gold + 1
Unkle Munky says - Blimey. That was rather unexpected and no mistake!
Jackie from Newport asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Will you be doing anything for Comic Relief?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Jackie, Raising money to buy comedy plastic noses for people who are less fortunate than ourselves strikes me as simply obscene. I most certainly will not be participating in said event! Disgraceful behaviour!
Jackie replies - What the fuc...?
Munky, There's an electric wheelchair in reception. Do you know who it belongs to?
Unkle Munky replies - Oh yes. It belongs to my mate, Disabled Dave. I used it this morning to get here. My Space Hopper has sprung another leak.
Mary asks - Won't Disabled Dave need it?
Unkle Munky replies - Ahem... dunno.
Roman Measuring Techniques
Warren from Stevenage asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that the Romans used cakes to measure things with? I suspect that my mate pulling my plonker again and no mistake!
Unkle Munky says - Dear Warren, I have consulted my Big Book of Roman Measuring Techniques and can confirm that cakes were indeed employed in such a way. A window frame for instance might measure twenty Cupcakes by fifty French fancies. It soon became obvious that the system was flawed, however, when cakes started to go missing during tea breaks. "What was meant to be an expansive window," said one disgruntled Roman who was having a conservatory built, "...is now little more than porthole!"
It was clear that a new method of measuring had to be found, and that's where mouse droppings came into their own. I hope this helps.
- Pictured - Ronnie the Roman complains about a dagger that has been manufactured using the old cake measuring system. Mistakes like this happened frequently during the switchover to the Mouse dropping method of scale assessment.
A short paws whilst Munky learns how to stop his fingers when typing banananananana…
Unkle Munky says - Who the... What the fuc... Why... Ey?