Unkle Munky Pg 101
From Writers of the World
Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions.
This week Munky is listening to Glasvegas...
Artist - Glasvegas.
Song - Geraldine.
- Click here to play...
- Videos prone to removal.
Contents |
Aimless.
James from Kent says - Dear Unkle Munky, I am a big fan of beating around the bush. With this in mind I have decided to wander aimlessly around an English country garden before asking my question.
Unkle Munky says - What the fuc..?
- James from Kent, searching for a bush.
Sign of the Crimes.
Ben from Findern asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I recently got burgled within twenty fours hours of affixing a 'No Burgling' sign to my front door. Can I make a claim?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Ben, The only claim open to you on this occasion is one of complete stupidity. Now, if you do not mind, I have a 'No sexy ladies' sign to erect. Good day!
Getting your Oats.
Ryan from Hampton asks - Dear Unkle Munky, My girlfriend has suggested that we introduce food into our sex life. I was wondering if you had any ideas as to what might be suitable.
Unkle Munky says - Dear Ryan, Introducing food as a sexual aid is fraught with danger. I feel that it is my duty to warn you of the pitfalls regarding this course of action. I myself am currently under investigation for accidentally inflicting third degree burns upon an ex. I would definitely recommend that you steer well clear of porridge.
Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Oh fer god's sake!
Bungle's Barely News.
- Bungle Bear - Barely News - Getting on the Pm's tits.
Amy Knitwear.
Unkle Munky says - Who the... What the... Why the...?
Munky Memo.
- Ref. Loitering badger.
Dear Unkle Munky, Why is there a badger sitting in reception?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Ms. Sickness, The badger of whom you speak has been invited to Munky HQ by my good self. He will be helping me to research a question posed by one of our more... industrious readers.
Badger Baiting.
Stuart from Lucan asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I have recently moved into a very old cottage. There are numerous skirting boards, doors and window frames to paint. They all require extensive preparation and it is costing me a fortune in heavy duty sandpaper. With this in mind, I was wondering if there is any truth behind the phrase - 'As rough as a badger's arse'?
Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Dear Stuart, Munky is unable to answer your question at the moment as he is currently waiting for a tetanus injection at our local Accident and Emergency unit.
More Bungling News from Bungle the Bear.
- Bungle Bear - Barely News - Asking the questions that matter!
Munky Doesn't Have a Clue.
Ben from Findern asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Further to my correspondence regarding the recent burglary at my home. This morning I found a shiny black button in the hallway. I am certain that said item does not belong to me. Shall I go to the police?
Unkle Munky says - Dear Ben, I admire your honesty with regards to said button, especially after what you have been through. I would suggest on this occasion, however, that you keep this particular find to yourself. After all, returning such an insignificant item to its rightful owner is unlikely to rank as a very high priority for our boys and girls in blue.
Ben replies - Oh fer god's sake! I was talking from an investigative point of view, Munky! The button might belong to the person who broke into my home. You really are shit at this agony business!
In the Closet.
John from Bingley asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I recently discovered a naked man in my girlfriend's wardrobe! I am outraged beyond belief. What course of action would you recommend?
Unkle Munky says - Dear John, For a start I would suggest that you calm down. After all, it's not as if you found him in her bed.
John replies - Oh fer god's sake!
- The NEW admiral wardrobe from The Legacy Range. Fits three men (naked or otherwise).
Crime Watch mUnKy.
Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's Gothic assistant) asks - Have you seen a black button anywhere, Munky? My goth doll appears to have lost an eye.
Unkle Munky says - No, Mary. I can't say that I have.
Bungle's Barely News.
