Saw my mate’s dad this morning. He looked fed up. Apparently he’s sick of trying to explain to our local newsagent that ‘Pigeon Fancier Weekly’ isn’t a top-shelf publication.
Bumped into my ex at the opticians today. She said that masturbation had nothing to do with poor eyesight and that even someone with 20/20 vision would have a problem seeing a cock as small as mine. Ahem. How rude!
Read an article about a bloke in America who has no arms and no legs. If I had no arms and no legs I think I’d kill myself. Don’t know how I’d do it though…
Messed about on Google Earth earlier today. I never realised that my garden was shaped like a penis.
Today I learned that snails have four noses. I suspect that’s why they leave so much snot about the place then?
Saw a bloke having a fit in a nightclub on Saturday. At first I thought it was a new dance craze and joined in. Spent the rest of the night getting dirty looks from disgusted revellers.
Tesco have fucked up again. I ordered fillets not Lil-lets!