Munky's Memos
From Writers of the World
An ever growing list of things that Munky must remember if he is not to make himself look like a tit whilst dishing out his advice…
Always make sure the lid is on the Tipex before shaking.
Contact Mr. Clowes regarding the inaccurate advice I offered about joint accounts. From what I can gather none of the high street banks will accept drug deposits. I can only assume that his wife has designs on his cash.
Write a letter of apology to Mrs. Dawson regarding her pregnancy complication. For future reference; 'Home deliveries' require hot water and towels, not Jiffy bags and stamps.
Ref. Road signs: ’Pull off at the next exit’ is not an invitation to stop and have a wank.
For future reference: The expiry dates on banana flavoured condoms are applicable to the molecular stability of the latex (as opposed to the flavouring previously eluded to).
Cillit Bang is not a vaginal lubricant. Offer Sharon from Ipswich a full apology and a free 'Munky Moments' pencilcase.
Avoid recommending the ’sellotape technique’ when offering advice regarding unwanted hair removal. Blu-Tack doesn’t work either.
The dates stamped on eggs are not an indication of when they might hatch.
Dettox disinfectant is NOT intended to be used as part of a detox programme. Inform manufacturers of impending claim!
Unkle Munky is also available here...
