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Uncle Len's Bible Stories, The War In Heaven.Edit

Everything was everything up there in Heaven, at one time. There was so much harmony blowing around, you could hear an angel yawn from two heavens away. It was righteous, Brother, I kid you not. Like any organization, we had a what you might call a pecking order, of sorts. There are different ranks of angels in the Heavenly Host. The highest ranking host is called a Cherubim. A hot dog second banana was the only one to wear that tag. This really fine looking angel, answering to the name of Lucifer, held the rank of Cherubim.


I mean, next to God , and his son Jesus, he was the man. This boy had more good looks, smarts, knowledge, and power, than anyone else in the whole heavenly crap shoot. He was like the Prime Minister of the universe, if you catch my drift.


Yeah, Lucifer had it made in the shade, alright..He could hang out with God all he wanted to. He was always right there by his side, praising God for this, and praising God for that..Now, far be it from me to second guess The Almighty about his choice for a second in command, but it just seemed to me that Lucifer's handsome nose was never too far from the backside of the Creators robes. Don't get me wrong. God had recently done a lot of great stuff to be praised for. From the scuttlebutt I hear around this joint, God had created three heavens and then filled them with heavenly creatures, all in six days. I just happen to be one of those heavenly creatures he whipped up. It sure is great to be here, but I try not to dwell on where I came from too much. I'm not all that sure I'd want to know the answer to that one. It's my guess, an eternity of absolutely nothing going on in the universe except for maybe, some joke telling among the trinity, the monotany was starting to wear on their nerves a little. So, here we are...Heaven and God's hosts. Everything is everything....


About those three Heavens..The first one God cooked up was a place called Earth, complete with atmosphere and plenty of water. He scattered all kinds of weird looking creatures, slithering and flying all over the place. One of those creatures was man. Lucifer got a little bent out of shape when God turned to Jesus and said, "Let us make man in our image." I could just see the jealousy, eating away at the boy's gut. He must have figured the old man should have consulted him first, before making a big move like that.I can kind of understand that. After all, God put Lucifer in the second slot, and here he is, running this project right past him and bringing his son in on the ground floor.


The second Heaven he slapped together was outer space, complete with the sun, moon, and all those stars filling the void..I think he did real good on that one..Lots of interesting things to look at out there. His third and final Heaven is where I'm taking up space right now. It's generally known as God's dwelling place, and it's pretty cool. What they call the highest Heaven is thought of as God's throne. I couldn't swear to it because I've never seen it, myself.


Now, on this place called Earth, God made these creatures called Man. The Creator handed the world over to them, outright, so I'm guessing he has a fondness for the little trouble makers. That's his business. I'm just here to do a little praising and rejoicing when I'm called on. It's a pretty prime gig and I have no plans to rock the boat in this eternity.


But, now that Lucifer fellow... I knew he was trouble from the day we angels stood around and discovered we were here. Seems God had some row with the man called Adam, and had evicted them from The Garden of Eden. Adam and the woman the man named Eve were in the middle of a forty day fast, trying to get back in God's good graces, because they'd been scrounging around the countryside, trying to fill their bellies, and coming up with nothing but some kind of weeds the animals nibble on. Well, halfway through that fast, Lucifer shows up and tries to tempt Eve to break that fast and have a little bite. Seems like Eve has a hard time learning lessons because just like the first time Lucifer tempted her with the fruit from the knowledge of good and evil, she goes for it again.


Adam hears about this and blows his top. He demands of Lucifer to explain his meddling. Lucifer tells Adam that he's pretty miffed about the honor God bestowed on Adam and Eve at creation. He tells Adam, "When God blew into you the breath of Life, your countenance and likeness were made in the image of God!" He went on to rail about the time Michael presented Adam to God. I was there for that one. Michael turned to all us angels and said,"Worship the image of the Lord God just as the Lord God has commanded."


I don't mind telling you, things were getting a little tense, right about then. Lucifer looks like he's about ready to blow a gasket. He screams, "I do not have it within me to worship Adam! I will not worship him who is lower and posterior to me! I am prior to that creature! Before he was made, I had already been made! He ought to worship me!"


I guess that was the straw that broke the angel's back. All hell broke loose in Heaven after that. Satan marshaled angels who figured he'd gotten a raw deal into these fighting companies. Each division had a high commanding angel at its head. A riled up Lucifer, who was refusing to submit to the authority of Jesus was starting an all out anarchist's movement against the government of God. What a mess, Brother! Satan and his followers were out to reform the government of God. Like Lucifer, all of his followers were in complete rebellion against the authority of Jesus...Myself, I just knew what side of the coin this little war was going to come down on. No boat rocking, here, buddy.


All of us heavenly hosts were summoned to appear before the big guy to have each of our cases decided. The outcome was no surprise. Lucifer and his armies were told to vacate the premises, and advised to watch the door on the way out. Lucifer was busting a gut. He decided not to go gently into the good night. He declared war on all of Heaven! It was angel against angel, all over Paradise. Lucifer was hell bent on defeating the son of God and anyone who sided with him.


Like I expected, Satan and his gang got the boot, in the end, and were driven out of Heaven. After Lucifer had a chance to cool down, it came to him that his hostile takeover attempt might not have been the brightest move he'd ever made. He begged God to bring him back into the fold. He even offered to run errands for Jesus as long as he could get back on the winning team. God wasn't buying that song and dance and told Satan to hit the bricks.


So, there it is. Lucifer went back to tormenting and tricking Adam and Eve... and all you folks who came along behind them. I wish you a lot of luck. As for me, I think I'll look up the big guy and praise him for something or other...He always seems to get a big kick out of that...



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